A WOOFER IN TWEETER'S CLOTHING

Jenn and I select our favorite songs from a Sparks album and play them for you here and discuss why Sparks is the greatest band in all of Tarnation, by golly.

Ted: Hey Jenn, ready to discuss Sparks' sophmore effort, A Woofer in Tweeter's Clothing?

Jenn: You betcha, Ted. It is a very interesting album, and really, depending on the day, there are a couple of songs I could choose to be my favorite.

T: Funny you should mention "a couple of songs," because that is what I'd like to submit, if you'll allow me to bend the rules for reasons I feel are justifiable...

J: Oh really. Two songs? I thought we had agreed we were going to have to pick one. I've labored over my choice, you know. You better have a good argument!

T: Combined, they clock in at under three minutes...

J: "Batteries Not Included" and "Here Comes Bob?"

T: Yes!

J: Hahahahahaha! Okay. I'll give em to ya.

T: I think they serve so well as little gems in between the other, lengthier songs.

J: Oh yes - I do agree. I, on the other hand, have followed the rules, and made a solid choice for "Whippings and Apologies." A great rock song, with a spectacular beginning, and still manages to follow the surreal flow of the album to make for a solid finish.

J: AND - I just love to sing along with Russell, "Over and Over!"

T: Oh yeah.

T: Some of the reviews of Whippings I've read say it anticipates punk and post-punk rock.  I'm inclined to agree.

T: I'd say it could be a Coheed and Cambria song, but I know how much you despise them...

T: So I won't say it.  Even though I just did.

J: I'm not even going to give that comment a second thought. Complete crap. I would agree that "Whippings" is one of their most anticipatory songs, and it comes on an album that is full of risk-taking lyrics, melodies and beats. They sure weren't trying to repeat their first effort, and they don't get bogged down by the pressure to write a one hit wonder or something.

T: I'd like it as much as, if not even better than their first, were it not for the deplorable cover of "Do Re Mi."  Ugh.

J: Oh god. What were they thinking with that? I skip over it every time it comes on, so I nearly forgot it was there. I'm going to give the brothers this one pass because they didn't screw up that bad on any of their next 19 albums... I think.

T: A youthful indiscretion.  

J: Perhaps Ron had the hots for Julie Andrews in her nun costume in The Sound of Music. Could also explain the lyrics to "Whipping and Apologies." A whole nun theme.

J: Still- a terrible cover, that shows up on a great album.

T: I sure dig the strings on "Here Comes Bob," a good preview for their next three albums and, eventually, their opus, L'il Beethoven.

J: Their opus?

T: Sparks have called it "their genre-defining opus!"

J: They give too much credit to themselves for their new stuff and choose to ignore how great they were earlier than that.

J: My second choice on Woofer would have been "Nothing Is Sacred." From what I understand, Ron didn't write the lyrics on that one.

J: I'll have to take that back- maybe it was another song.

T: I also enjoy the first track, "Girl from Germany."  Hilarious lyrics.

T: In summary, I'd say this album and its predecesor allowed Sparks to test the waters of experimentation and, finding no audience in the States, but a welcoming one in England, come out full throttle with their next release, Kimono My House.  Can't wait for our next review!

J: Well said, Ted! I'll leave it with that as well.

"Batteries Not Included/Here Comes Bob"

I brought it home and I opened it up

And a smile came to my face for the first time in a while

Yes a smile came to my face for the first time in a while
I turned it on
But nothing happened when I did
Nothing happened at all
I kicked it down the stairs
I threw it at the wall

Hey kid, batteries not included 

-----------------------------------------

When I spot a driver worth a second glance
Foot to floorboard, impact soon achieved
Here comes Bob, I ain't subtle in my ways of making friends
Girl this rubbled mess was caused by my neglect
Of course I'll pay and by the way my dear
Here comes Bob
I ain't subtle in my ways of making friends

But here comes Bob
Sometimes I will stoop to hitting two-door coupes without the frills
But that is just for casual acquaintances, for stripped-down thrills
Your car girl or mine it doesn't matter doesn't matter no
But for affairs with staying power I go after limousines
It's always nice when something big is acting as your go-between
For a group encounter I'll hit busses, mobile homes or trains to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

It's hard to make acquaintances in our big town 
Most eyes stare at nothing much at all
But here comes Bob
I ain't subtle in my ways of making friends, friends, acquaintances

Instant adulation comes to some at birth
Born to queens or corporate entities
But here comes Bob
Someday they'll put me away
I'll think back on active days
Most were worth the minor scars
Some were worth the damaged cars
And the judge will say to me
'Bob, You've got a bad means to a worthwhile end'

An end

Whippings and apologies
Over and over they did it to her when she disagreed
Whippings and apologies
Over and over and over and over
You know it's not right
For she has holy water running through her veins
And now it's me that she hates, it's me that she hates