KIMONO MY HOUSE

Jenn and I select our favorite songs from a Sparks album and play them for you here and discuss why Sparks is the greatest band in all of Tarnation, by golly.

Ted: Here I've been, listening to some of our most recent Sparks purchases - the ones recorded in the eighties - totally forgetting the masterpiece, Kimono My House!

T: Just hearing it again all the way through tonight, wow!

Jenn: I feel the same way, Ted. Every song that came on tonight, listening to Kimono again, I was like - Jeeze! That is a great song!

T: I wonder, did the Brits assume Sparks were just as big in the States?  Or did they know we were the biggest bunch of dumbfucks for not acknowledging the greatness of this band?

J: The Brits have always had reason to assume we were dumbfucks, and besides the last eight years of the Bush Administration, I think the smart ones over there most likely put 'Yankees Don't Get Sparks' as number one lame Americana on the list.

J: But, in all seriousness - Kimono My House is one of the most killer albums ever written. Influenced some of the best - not just in the UK, but all over the world.

J: What's your pick, Mr. Ted?

T: Listening as we type, I'm all, that one, no wait, that one...

J: I know, I know. Ron was on. Russell, well, he was on. The guitar is ripping, the entire band executes masterfully some of the most original music of all time. The lyrics - God. I mean I can't understand a damn word Russell says and I like the songs, then I use the internets to figure out what they are saying and I'm like, FUCK MAN! This is too good!

T: And it's like, well Bowie was brilliant back then... but the thing is, people know that!  It's just a crime thinking how limited our understanding of the Brothers Mael was before the internet opened things up for us...

J: Yes, Ted. I remember us jizzing juice when we realized all of the bands that had covered "This Town." Some of the greats. Remember Siouxsie & the Banshees playing it from a gazebo or something? Dear God. Russell does it best though. It is a Sparks song through and through. If you aren't going to pick a song - I guess I'll take the first hit. On this AMAZING album, I'm going to take....

J: "This Town Ain't Big Enough for Both of Us"

J: I know, I know. You say everyone picks it, but I just cannot believe the mastery of that song. To open an album with such a gutsy drama, such rapid pace! Wowzas. Wowwowzas.

T: I'm just hearing Russell's falsetto crescendo.  Pure genius.  

T: I seriously struggled with picking one song from this album, but pressed, I think it's going to have to be "Amatuer Hour," as it comes right off the heals of "This Town," and just keeps up the intensity of the album...

J: As much as I hate to be the 'yes woman,' I'm going to have to agree with you, Ted. "Amatuer Hour" was nearly my pick. I sing along with both of those songs, and they just fly by. It is really a short album, but just explodes at the get go.

T: Yes, yes-woman, yes.  I can't think of a stronger LP opening.  Ron's lyrical wit is in full force, here.  And how would you describe Russell's singing?  His vocal inflections just kill me!

J: Oh dear, yes. Russell is making every choral teacher proud, here. 

J: His range is its widest ever, clear as a bell - from Italian-boy soprano to hearthrob pop singing - he brings it all.

T: I was about to go on and on about how I can't put my finger on his singing, but I like how you put that.

J: Thanks, darlin'. You know how I like my Russell... I'm going to have to say in closing, if you don't have this album already, go buy it. If you don't, you don't get a good percentage of the music that came out from kids that are famous now, that were listening to it on big headphones in their bedrooms in the summer of 1974."

T: Indeed.  This album is solid from start to finish, which is why I'll create a link to it on the Sparks MySpace page.  I would encourage all to go there and hear how incredible it is, and then buy the darn garn thing.

J: But pretty please post the lyrics to the songs we picked, Ted. They are brilliant.

T: Oh yeah, standard procedure applies, here.  The two songs posted via YouTube with lyrics.  Anything else I can do, besides being your Sparks-fan-comrad-in-arms?

J: We'll get to that when we're away from the blog, baby. See ya next time! PROPAGANDA!

T: PROP-A-GAN-DA! PROP-A-GAN-DA!

(Note: YouTube would not allow me to upload the two songs, so I'm using someone else's submission.  You can listen to the album in its entirety at myspace.com/allsparks.  Go to the MySpace music jukebox and scroll down at the bottom left until you see, you guessed it, two asian gals dressed in kimonos. Click on that and you're set.)

This Town Ain't Big Enough for Both of Us

Zoo time is she and you time
The mammals are your favourite type, and you want her tonight
Heartbeat, increasing heartbeat
You hear the thunder of stampeding rhinos, elephants and tacky tigers
This town ain't big enough for both of us
And it ain't me who's gonna leave

Flying domestic flying
And when the stewardess is near do not show any fear
Heartbeat increasing heartbeat
You are a khaki-coloured bombadier it's Hiroshima that you're nearing
This town ain't big enough for both of us
And it ain't me who's gonna leave

Daily, except for Sunday
You dawdle in to the cafe where you meet her each day
Heartbeat, increasing heartbeat
As twenty cannibals have hold of you, they need their protein just like you do
This town ain't big enough for both of us
And it ain't me who's gonna leave

Shower, another shower
You've got to look your best for her and be clean everywhere
Heartbeat, increasing heartbeat
The rain is pouring on the foreign town, the bullets cannot cut you down
This town ain't big enough for both of us
And it ain't me who's gonna leave

Census, the latest census
There'll be more girls who live in town though not enough to go round
Heartbeat, increasing heartbeat
You know that:
This town isn't big enough,
not big enough for both of us
This town isn't big enough,
not big enough for both of us
And I ain't gonna leave

 Amateur Hour

Lawns grow plush in the hinterlands
It's the perfect little setting for the one night stands
Now the drapes are drawn and the lights are out
It's the time to put in practice what you've dreamed about

She can show you what you must do
To be more like people better than you

Chorus:
Amateur Hour goes on and on
When you turn pro you know she'll lets you know
Amateur Hour goes on and on
When you turn pro you know
She tells you so

Girls grow tops to go topless in
While we sit and count the hairs that blossom from our chins
Our voices change at a rapid pace
I could start a song a tenor and then end as bass

Choose your partners everyone
If you hesitate, the good ones are gone

(Chorus)

Dance, laugh, wine, dine, talk and sing
But those cannot replace what is the real thing
It's a lot like playing the violin
You cannot start off to be Yehudi Menuhin

(Chorus)