INTRODUCING SPARKS

Jenn and I select our favorite songs from a Sparks album and play them for you here and discuss why Sparks is the greatest band in all of tarnation, by golly.

TED: On February 6, 2009, I wrote, "So, Introducing Sparks is next - let's not make our audience of three readers wait too long for it... "

JENN: I think we may have lost one or two of our readers after eighteen months, but with THIS very important review, we should get at least one of them back, eh? I'm going to go down to the car to find the disk so we sort of know what we are talking about. I'll be back.

T: So little hinges on our next few moves.

T: I think we may have lost one or two of our Sparks CDs after eighteen months.

J: Well, I know I went on a Meat Puppets craze, and then the Mastodon sort of took over the vehicle, but where the hell did that album go? I can 'buy it now' for $8.91 on Amazon... I think we had an Opeth road trip in there too somewhere, when it was likely lost. That trip was CRAZAE!

T: I don't want to get too esoteric on our audience, but perhaps Introducing Sparks is our lost 116 pages.

J: If that were the case, we'd have to fabricate some fabulous Lucy Harris that took our beloved manuscript and did away with it, and I'm not sure I can deny that we've really just been lazy.

T: Agreed. Sheer laziness. Now stand up and be proud, if you can manage it.

J: Okee dokee, then. We've lost Introducing Sparks. Not on purpose, but just as well. It's really not very good. The covers are creepy, and aren't all the songs about underage girls or something? This is all just from wild vacation memories, as I can't find the album, of course.

T: That sounds like a description of Big Beat. Seeing as how Introducing is even worse, I'll allow the confusion between the two.

J: You'll allow it because I've got nothin' else to give you on this one. I suppose Ron and Russell could blame all this on the complexities with their record contracts at the time, and releasing the thing on vinyl exclusively until much later, but really, when it comes right down to it, they should have released "A Big Surprise" as a single and called it a day. "Gone to re-hab. Back when we are awesome and brilliant again."

T: I've seen a lot of vintage videos from around that era. Ron is doing that bust apart the piano bench in all of them. I'm convinced it's legitimate hostility at play. Not a symbol, like Townsend smashing his guitar. Actual rage. I am frightened.

J: Well - they were done with that era. They were brimming with the next. That said, "A Big Surprise" is a pretty fun song when Ron's piano is working and not in pieces, and Russell is looking into the camera at you, not at the empty space behind you.

T: "Over the Summer" is good, too.

J: How do you know?

T: Because we used to own the CD. Then Satan stole it from us.

J: Well, either your memory is better than mine, or you have been secretly checking out the songs on the album on the googles. I'll let both pass. Now back to "A Big Surprise," because that is the only song I know. Russell's voice really is great, and the tempo is just slow enough that the whole thing must be them just takin' a piss (as they say in the UK).

T: It's laid back California surfer music. I miss their frenetic stylings from the Kimono era. Songs like "Something for the Girl with Everything." Isn't this more of them trying to gain popularity in the States? If so, they fail. But that makes me happy because if they had wanted to succeed they would have had to sound like REO Speedwagon or Styx.

J: You obviously weren't a surfer, but again, I give you a pass. This music isn't laid back. "A Big Surprise" is sorta like Wayne Newton attempting to be part of the eighties with loungie uncomfortable glitter, falsetto singing, and an overwhelming presence of not belonging. These guys (Sparks) were ready to splay the world in two with a new style of music, and had to send the seventies out with the anti-introduction.

T: Your theory is that they had their future transformation into synth pop duo in mind while they made this album? I always thought that was a spontaneous move on their part. But we can explore that more on our next review - No. 1 in Heaven. See you again in eighteen months.

J: My theory is that the Sparks zeitgeist was changing, yes, when they made this album. That is the rage you see in Ron, and the hollow despair you see in Russell. I'll see you in less than eighteen months, as I can get a raging full-on for No. 1 any day of the week. Ciao.

T: Ciao bella.

"A Big Surprise" by Sparks

No use in our pretending we don't know what we know

We know a lot of things
I know each muscle on your back and every toe
But you've held out on me, I can tell from your eyes
Disguising the ace that you hold

I want a big surprise tonight
A really big surprise tonight
It's boy meets girl and here we go once again

Where is that Yankee ingenuity
Somebody told me how the motion picture would end
I turned and glared at them
And then I read the way the world was going to end
With a whimpering sound, not a banging away
I'm sorry I gave it away

I want a big surprise tonight
A really big surprise tonight

It's boy meets girl and here we go once again
I want a big surprise tonight
A really big surprise tonight

It's boy meets girl and here we go once again
Where is that Yankee ingenuity
I want a big surprise tonight
A really big surprise tonight
It's boy meets girl and here we go once again

Where is that Yankee ingenuity
Break the rules and make a fool out of me
Where is that Yankee ingenuity right now

I want a big surprise tonight
A really big surprise tonight

"Over the Summer" by Sparks

You've got to trust in summer, miracles can happen if you do

'Cause all that heat speeds change in everything, maybe even you
If you're a summertime believer
If you're a summertime believer
July, you were the plainest of Janes
Through August, you got rearranged
September, you're not just a brain
Over the summer, over the summer, over the summer

I tried to find myself this summertime,
I found you instead
And please forgive me Karen, but in June you were kind of dead
But, then we had that three day hot spell
You really turned into a bombshell
July, you were the plainest of Janes
Through August, you gor rearranged
September, you're not just a brain
Over the summer, over the summer, over the summer

Over the summer you're under the summer sun
Over the summer you're under the summer sun
Over the summer you're under the summer sun
Lying there, lying there, lying there, getting hot

You know the records that I got in June don't sound good no more
And all the clothes I bought in June are now rotting in my drawers
But you're a different girl, much better
A little redder, but much better
Was it just the heat of the sun
Was it that you had lots of fun
I wish that the summer weren't done
Over the summer, over the summer, over the summer